…Went Up The Water Spout
Posted by Rey
So I’m in my backyard deweeding and coming closer to the flowers when I find this gorgeous and frightening spider (Golden Orb Weaver) that ran toward my hand when I brushed up against its web. Note the distinct web pattern: gorgeous.The Return
Posted by Rey
It’s been over a year since the war started. At this point I’m not quite sure when it started (was it the incursion into my open kitchen, was it the mowing under their Dogwood…who knows) but I do know that the escalation has been steady.Nothing was outside of our purview for battle: they launched a scorched earth campaign and I engaged in chemical warfare. No enemies were taken.
Before the winter I made it a point to fortify the grounds outside the home, placing seed and fertilizer. I demanded that the Bugs give up their positions and move on and all I received in return was a tiny handwritten note which I imagine says “Nuts.”.
With the Spring thaw, hostilities were rekindled and it was only realized upon mowing the lawn. My mower kept hitting ridge after ridge and I thought it was rocks until I pulled back and saw rivers of burrowed Earth throughout the lawn.
Moles, they’ve unearthed the Moles.
The Bugs Strike Back
Posted by Rey
I can’t believe it. After several failed attempts at my home ( and my blog, curse them) the bugs have launched a soft-target campaign. I guess they realized that the bug spray I put down was a bit too hefty (although it hasn’t stopped them from breaching my air space). Instead they have unearthed a specialized squadron focused on a slash and scorch campaign. Here are some pictures with story.
General’s Journal: A Bug’s Life
Posted by Rey
Colony Date 1,657,234. Hour: Bright
The Human Male Drone has been active. In the early Bright, we’ve noted a repeated watering of points of incursion along the perimeter of his colony. There’s no soil there or plants so we have found it all very perplexing. Said activity began after the Queen Human and one of her larvae discovered that Bravo-squadron Earwig Division (B.E.D.) had successfully infiltrated their sub-level. After the Male Drone finished watering, our troops felt a nearly overwhelming desire to attack. Wisdom overruled our unified hunger; we must feed our home before attacking theirs.
Pictures of Dogwood Battlefield
Posted by Rey
The Tranquil Dogwood Tree: Note the unmowed square plot of lawn immediately beneath the tree.
Sy Triumphant: Armed with bat and ready to do battle.
Momma Bird exceedingly nervous.
Probably a picture during my running. Of course, I couldn’t capture any pictures of the baby bird lest I would suffer a huge pecking attack.
From inside of my house, looking up at the roof where Momma perched in glaring anger.
Yeah, I don’t have any mid-battle photos. My photographer had her hands occupied with my daughter and my hands were occupied with frantic flailing.
The Battle of Dogwood Tree or Robin-Home Defense
Posted by Rey
June 1863: General Robert E. Lee, upon receiving news that Federal forces were in Frederick (Maryland), ordered the Confederate Army to come down from Blue Ridge Mountains to meet the Feds in battle. On June 30th, Lee’s recon forces discover that Gettysburg (Pennsylvania) is already occupied by Brigadier General John Buford’s cavalry, dismounted, frightened, resolved and entrenched. 143 years later the battle between the Robins and myself, like Gettysburg, happened completely by accident. Read the rest of this entry »
Ten Things That I Would Like To Do
Posted by Rey
- Hang out in the city with my wife and kids ala scoboco.
- Take my wife and kids and backpack through Europe.
- Play phenom music. Like Clapton guitar and Connick piano. Sorry, MCF, no tuba.
- Become an art master comparable to the Greats (without ripping their work): Caravaggio, Chermayeff, Rackham, and Ross.
- Publish my trilogy. I absolutely hate re-writing it (again).
- Publish a good (for the lack of a better word even though I’m in complete disagreement with the term) lay commentary on the entire Bible. I absolutely hate writing it.
- Become a Jedi Master who runs around and fights and stuff. Maybe slay the Bugs. Not dark side Jedi Master. I don’t want my son to come back some fifteen years from now and duel me to the death.
- Build a castle. A real one.
- Score big on the lottery without ever buying a ticket. (I have to afford my Europe trip, my castle and building a lightsaber somehow).
- Get my hand on the Infinity Gauntlet. With it I can conquer the Bugs. Barring that I’d like to throw something at my tv (The original Nutty Professor is on again). I do feel that number 10 is being wasted because of this distraction, so I’ll just go ahead an post this.
The Gathering Swarm
Posted by Rey
Not yet a month since the Battle of Dining Room and we have already seen hints that our insect enemy is planning something. Nothing definitive to present to the UN; but at least I can document my family’s concerns so that we can be remembered. I present the (some may add circumstantial) evidence but you judge for yourself. Read the rest of this entry »
Survival of the Fittest Ex-New Yorkers
Posted by Rey
Adaptation, say evolutionists, is key to survival. A creature , out of its natural habitat has three choices: completely change an ecosystem (imagine an MCF link to a Simpsons episode here), die or become part of the system. As a city-born, native New Yorker now relocated to the downright rural, I must adapt to my situation or be enveloped by my surroundings. Tonight, this lesson was made very clear. Read the rest of this entry »
