{"id":885,"date":"2009-06-12T12:53:14","date_gmt":"2009-06-12T17:53:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/blog\/?p=885"},"modified":"2009-06-12T12:56:30","modified_gmt":"2009-06-12T17:56:30","slug":"rant-on-lawn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/rants\/rant-on-lawn\/","title":{"rendered":"Rant On Lawn"},"content":{"rendered":"
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  1. Mowing the lawn in the heat is awful, more so when the humidity feels like you’re walking through a storm but without the benefit of rain.<\/li>\n
  2. Mowing the lawn after several days of rain is obnoxious: not only is the grass ridiculously heavy so that your machine keeps stalling, but your feet get a nasty, hot, wet feeling.<\/li>\n
  3. Neighbors with dogs are great when they keep the dog in their yard, but for some reason my neighbors have decided to walk the dog on my lawn. When I peek at them coming out towards my lawn and I “coincidentally” go outside, they freeze-frame, turn around and walk elsewhere. But when I don’t get a chance to catch them, my mower discovers their unhappy deposits instead.<\/li>\n
  4. I distinctly remember enjoying mowing my own lawn. That was a little more than two years ago, less a child, less the new neighbors with the dog, and in April.<\/li>\n
  5. When I see Adam, I might have to punch him in the gut.<\/li>\n
  6. There is not enough water to recalibrate the dizziness that comes with the first two hours of mowing with a push mower.<\/li>\n
  7. It doesn’t look big, but a third of an acre is a lot to mow. Especially in the heat. While avoiding poop on the lawn.<\/li>\n
  8. I don’t think any of my neighbors enjoy it when I take off my shirt. I’ve wondered if the Dog is retribution for the bare bosom or vice versa.<\/li>\n
  9. In the past I’ve considered a lawn care contract. I refuse to pay for it though in light of identifying with Adam’s stupidity and sheer value of the dollar. In either case, I fear the day when aliens visit our planet and confuse either Dogs, or Our Lawns, for our leaders.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Mowing the lawn in the heat is awful, more so when the humidity feels like you’re walking through a storm but without the benefit of rain. Mowing the lawn after several days of rain is obnoxious: not only is the grass ridiculously heavy so that your machine keeps stalling, but your feet get a nasty, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,12],"tags":[320,322,323,321],"class_list":["post-885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants","category-story","tag-lawn","tag-mowing","tag-poop","tag-rant"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/885","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=885"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/885\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":888,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/885\/revisions\/888"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}