Got this from my Father.<\/p>\n
Excerpt from a Dog’s Diary……..<\/strong><\/p>\n 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 5:00 PM – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n 11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Excerpt from a Cat’s Diary…<\/strong><\/p>\n Day 983 of my captivity….<\/p>\n My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.<\/p>\n Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.<\/p>\n The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.<\/p>\n Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.<\/p>\n There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.<\/p>\n Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.<\/p>\n I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.<\/p>\n The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Got this from my Father. Excerpt from a Dog’s Diary…….. 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing! […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[291],"class_list":["post-999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-links-n-junk","tag-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/999","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=999"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/999\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1000,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/999\/revisions\/1000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=999"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=999"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rreynoso.com\/reysapoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=999"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}