Stop. Do not go to your local paint shop. You are not ready. You might have your tools all set up and your finishes all picked out—but your missing one of the most important details: what brand of paint to use.

You walk into any store that sells consumer household goods (Sears, Lowes, Home Depot, K-Mart, Walmart—the list goes on) and one thing will become immediately apparent: no two sell the same brand of paint. Walmart sells Dutch-boy while Home Depot sells Gliddon. Lowes likes American Tradition, Sears likes Chromocolor and on and on and on. Right until the point that you shout “Who cares! What’s in a name?” then proceed to wantonly spend on whatever costs the least.

There is a whole lot in a name: specifically consistency. Some paint brands do a lousy job of mixing their chemicals offering a watery, drippy mess that takes three times as long to apply to any wall. Sometimes a fourth court is demanded if it’s cheap enough. You think you’re saving cash by buying that ten dollar paint but when you’re going back to the store to get another gallon (or three) you’ll continue kicking yourself.

I’ve tried out a wide range of paints just to find the perfect brand. I gotta tell you, it was a tough hunt but well worth the search.

My criteria were fourfold. One: the paint had to be a creamy. Creamy means a non-watery substance that sticks to the roll without being tacky or clumpy. Think fresh cake icing or a bit thicker than pancake batter. Two: the paint had to emit lower fumes. Granted this can change depending on the deepness of the hue you’ve chosen but in general, a good paint shouldn’t smell like ammonia. If it does, sorry, you got cheap paint. Three: the paint reflects a nice color after two stirs. That means, that when I was painting I didn’t have to keep stirring the thing to make sure the color didn’t separate. Four: price is a huge issue. The lower the price the better on my painting budget and the more willing I am to experiment with hues.

The following is a (short) review of paint brands, how they held up under use and roughly what they cost. My overall recommendation is at the end.

Colorchrome (Sears) Very watery although it offers very low fumes. Color is okay if you stick with the flat colors: anything else gets really splotchy. The cost is low but you’ll return the savings by needing to buy more. Price is about fifteen bucks.

American Tradition (Lowes) Too thick on the glossy end of the spectrum making application difficult. Color consistency is decent and the fumes are low. Price is about twenty bucks.

Glidden (Home Depot) Nice color consistency with a combination of low fumes. Texture is nice, creamy and easily applied. I covered four walls and a ceiling with one can. The price was about thirty bucks.

Color Place (Walmart) Extremely watery, horrid color consistency and outright dangerous fumes; if this stuff doesn’t kill you right away it’s definitely shaving years off your life. Heck, even their color matching system is horrid (no two color matches are ever the same so save those numbers and make sure they write it legibly if you decide to go with them). The price is ridiculously low (with a five gallon bucket you save about fifty bucks over any store). Cheap in every sense of the word.

Dutch Boy (Walmart). Low fumes, decent color in the flat end of the spectrum but stinky application. Be prepared to waste money since this costs about twenty something dollars and just doesn’t go on as nicely.

Behr (Home Depot) Outstanding color consistency, excellent application and low fumes: all rolled up in a low price of about twenty bucks. I did an entire room with half a can and went back for a second coat just for the fun of it.

Kilz (Walmart) I was afraid to touch it after my Dutch Boy and Color Place fiasco (especially because of the higher price) but I’ve heard it’s decent. I’ll find out if someone gives it to me for free.

Benjamin Moore (Benjamin Moore) Outstanding color consistency, perfect application and ridiculous low fumes. Heck, I bought a dark red and tried inhaling the thing and didn’t even feel a buzz: good stuff. The draw back is that (per gallon) you’re knocking on forty dollars door. Yowzah.

My overall recommendation, if price isn’t an issue is Benjamin Moore. If you’re using a darker color definitely invested in the tinted primer or be prepared to apply three or four coats over a seventy two hour time frame. The lovely thing about Benjamin Moore is that you enjoy putting those coats on.

My recommendation for the every-person who has a budget, fears credit card bills and wants painting to go as smooth (sorry) as possible while having a fantastic look: Behr. This stuff is phenomenal and at around twenty bucks it’s a steal The color matching system is pretty close and they print out the color specs so that you don’t have to worry about finding a Rosetta Stone some five years into the future (grr…Walmart). Definitely the way to go.

Happy painting.