Rey's A Point

Top 10 Reasons To Avoid "X-Files: I Want To Believe"

This will have spoilers. That being said here goes:

  1. It’s an extended TV Episode for movie theater prices.
  2. There are no aliens. Not even a hint of an alien (well, a slight hint when they showed George W and Hoover). Not even a chupacabra!
  3. Billy Connolly is more believable as a professor than a pedophile psychic priest.
  4. The trailer for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 held more potential interest than the movie.
  5. Frankenstein. Honestly. Bloody Frankenstein. And the big reveal? Not very surprising.
  6. No black oil. The trailer sure looked like there was Black Oil in Connolly’s eyes (1:12). Apparently other geeks online complained about this.
  7. No one fired a gun.
  8. In fact, Guns were just props for waving before chucking them to the side.
  9. Momentary Smoking Man fake-out: You think “oh boy” then its some loser.
  10. Did I mention no aliens?

Rey

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4 responses to “Top 10 Reasons To Avoid "X-Files: I Want To Believe"”

  1. SPOILERISH:

    The black oil and aliens were the last movie. The whole alien mythology was resolved in the series. After 7 years, Carter said he was going to make more of a standalone “monster of the week” movie that neither required fans to remember continuity from that long ago nor required newcomers to have extensive knowledge of the series. And I’m pretty sure CSM died in the finale, not that they couldn’t find a way to bring him back if they needed to. I just wasn’t expecting him in THIS story. I was glad for the one cameo that did happen, which I was expecting for from the beginning(around the line “It wasn’t me that sent the helicopter for you” or something to that effect). That was a fakeout, but then who I was expecting shows up later(and soon waves a gun).

    I didn’t even notice the lack of guns until the climax when Mulder roots around in the back of the pickup truck and grabs a wrench. I guess since she’s a doctor and he’s a civilian now, they wouldn’t exactly be running around with the same standard issue weapons as Peet or Xzibit. I agree that it was a TV episode, definitely better than most of the last few seasons of the show, and best seen as a matinee or on DVD. It’s also important to stay through the credits. Anybody going in expecting a UFO to break through ice, explosions, shooting, or general Summer popcornery is going to be disappointed. They really shouldn’t have released this movie in July.

  2. …or in the theaters? I mean, release it to DVD. Or TV. But the theaters? Who is gonna see this BUT the fans? Honestly, if a non-fan went in and saw that they’d think “What a slow moving serial killer movie that is not even as exciting as anything of recent years”. Saw IV was a better serial killer movie. I can’t believe I just wrote that. But its true.

  3. Don’t have anything to say about X-Files but did you know that your other site is a “Reported Attack Site!”? I’m browsing using Firefox3 which I think checks Google if this option is enabled. Sorry don’t know more details but thought you’d like to know.

  4. Yeah, thanks for letting me know. I got the google report a day or two ago. For some reason, the Bible Archive gets attacked like once every two months. I fixed what was wrong so the Firefox warning doesn’t apply but Firefox waits for Google to tell them the site is fine.

    ::sigh::